Wednesday, January 5, 2011

D&C Results Are In

We just got the results of the D&C. There was NOTHING wrong with our baby.


Of all the results I prepared myself for this was the one I feared. Strange really since it should give us some comfort and joy to know that we can make healthy babies. But now I have to deal with what caused our baby to die. Was it my body? Or worse, was it because of a lack of progesterone because they had told me to stop giving it? I have literally being avoiding this possibility because I have been afraid to let my mind wander down such a dark path of anger and blame if I didn’t have any proof. But now I’m not sure what to think. I am getting more blood drawn for additional tests to see if for any reason my body rejected the baby. Until I get these results I’m still going to withhold my judgment for my own mental health. I still need to recover emotionally from this loss. I should know in 2 weeks if I am to blame or our clinic.

7 comments:

Hillary said...

No results would be easy, but this is definitely extremely painful news. I wish I could give you a big hug. Much love to you.

makingmemom.blogspot.com

Amber said...

Praying for you! It's so easy to want to blame something/somebody...but in the big scheme of things, God gives life, sustains it, and takes it on his timing. I'm not saying blame God, but to trust Him. He has the numbers of days planned for all of us (including our angels in heaven). We may not have all the answers here on earth, but we can have faith. Again, keeping you and dh in my prayers, praying for healing, strength, and direction as needed.

Hope said...

I am so sorry, I know that news was hard to hear. Whatever you find out, do NOT blame yourself. Medical science still doesn't know everything. We do the best we can with the info we have and keep plugging away (easier said than done, I know).

NewLife4Me said...

YOU are not to blame for ANYTHING. If your body was the cause, it's nothing YOU did or didn't do. I know that doesn't help you or make you think any differently. I was the same when I had my MC. I did an INTENSE on my knees, scrubbing of the house and started having back pain. Next AM I had my MC and blamed myself for a while. I am so sorry for your loss and I pray you get your miracle baby someday soon.

Juliann said...

I too experienced 2 Miscarriages in a row. We had one early on and then one at 19 1/2 weeks. We had multiple testing done and nothing came up. We too were told bad luck. I was so pissed how can you tell me back luck there had to be a reason. Nothing.

I had no trouble getting pregnant just keeping them inside. We got pregnant again after being being pregnant for 2 years straight all but 2 months in between and had a healthy baby girl (she is now 5)!

I feel your pain, but don't give up hope.

keepingmyeyesonjesus said...

I'm sorry! It's terrible not to know... I hope you get answers soon!

shocks said...

i just found your blog and wanted to say i'm so sorry for your loss. Praying God gives you comfort and peace.