Saturday, March 5, 2011

Living in Limbo

We have been praying for direction on what we should do next but we still do not have an answer.  It has left us feeling like we are in a state of limbo.  Do we move to adoption, pursue the second opinion, etc.  We recently learned of a traditional adoption opportunity and while we prayed about it, it just didn't feel that we were being led to pursue it any further.  How is it that we are pretty much offered a child and yet we're still being told 'no.'  Maybe if we had the results of Hammer's DNA frag test it could help us make a decision about pursuing another fertility treatment but even that will be delayed.  Hammer recently got a new position in his company that requires him to travel from now until July.  This makes scheduling the DNA frag a nightmare because his travel schedule is only partially set and he could be scheduled for a trip at a moments notice and 10 days of prep would be wasted.  On top of that we are trying to at least 'try' naturally which takes prep time as well and we can't do the test during that time. 

I do have a question for anyone reading who had a D&C, ever since the procedure AF only seems to last for 2 days instead of my typical 3-4 days.  I'm worried the procedure could have messed up my lining as I have read about that being a complication.  This makes me worried that I won't have a decent lining during natural cycles even IF everything works.  Is this just a temporary problem?  I really don't want to talk to my RE about it as we're pretty much done with him.  Just going back for our last meeting was beyond traumatizing so I really don't want to have to go back there again.

As far as trying naturally, I am starting my third cycle using the Ovacue.  It's an ovulation predictor that reads the estrogen and progesterone changes in saliva and cervial mucus.  The benefit with this predictor is that it predicts 5-7 days in advance so it should, in theory, give Hammer and I several days warning to prep before I ovulated.  The first month we tried right after the miscarriage was a bust because I deleted all of my readings a week and a half into the month so it could never confirm if I ovulated.  This past month it did show that I ovulated but Hammer ended up sick and prep time was not possible.  It will be interesting to see what happens this month with trying to time things.      


Nicole said...

I hate that- LIMBO. We were there for so long (2 years). No matter what we looked into, the answer was always WAIT. Do nothing. No. Not now. UGH! It was so hard because you don't want to proceed without that confirmation (which we did once with our FET and completely regret it still to this day), but you NEED TO DO *SOMETHING*!! It's so hard.
I didn't have a D&C with my m/c cuz it was so early and passed on it's own, so I don't know about the lining question. That is worrisome to think about! Definitely a question for an RE. So sorry to hear that you've had such a bad experience with your RE! I know what that's like to and it is such an awful feeling. I'm not sure what the details were on your story with this doc because I haven't been as present in the blog world for a long time (just checking up every once in a while when I can), but I bounced around to four REs before I found my amazing, beloved Dr. K. I've emailed you adbout him before, and I would certainly still 100% recommend him IF you can handle the travel issue. And the travel brings on a whole new set of complications to IVF, let me tell you! But please please PLEASE email me if you want more info about him. He was the best and I always felt like I was in very knowledgable and skilled hands, and that he was very compassionate (having been through IF himself), and like all he wanted was for me to have my baby. Can't sing him enough praises :)
Hammer's new job makes thinks very tricky too. Geor yoeze! I just ache for you and wish there was more I could do to help. ((hug))
Email me if there is aiconfessions(at)gmail

Nicole said...

(wow that was full of typos, but the only undiscernable was *Geeze*) lol

Miss Megan said...

I have had 3 D&C's and it only reduced the length of AF once - from 7 days to 4 - which I have to admit I was pretty thrilled about. And it was lighter. Hmm...I didn't think of it in terms of reducing the chances for implantation the next cycle because of a thinkker lining...UGH! I surely hope that isn't what happened! Keep in mind of course that when they do a D&C that they do clean you out and scrape the lining, so it makes sense then that you would have less lining to shed in the following month. After that you would think that the lining would build back up to normal. I'm pretty sure mine did. I never did get pregnant directly following one of my D&C's though, so I don't know if it reduced my chances or not. I've actually heard it is supposed to increase your chances of pregnancy right afterward.
Okay, I'm rambling. Overall, if it was light this month I think that is okay. If it is light again next month, that may be a bit more cause for concern. Hopefully it's not! Hang in there!!
And I hate limbo too! I hope the path you are destined to take is illuminated for you soon!!

635 Hunters Knoll Rd said...

From personal experience a D&C can mess with your lining. It causes scar tissue to build up which makes it difficult for implantation. I had a D&C after my 3rd and while using no birth control it took me 8 years to have #4.

I had a friend that had the same problem caused by an abortion. After 10 years of trying they finally did a D&C on her but this time put an IUD in after the procedure. They left the IUD in a couple of months and then took it out. She got pregnant the next month!!

Best of luck to you!

Tanner said...

I had the same fears after my D&C. I got an infection, which makes scarring even more likely. I had some weird pains down there during my period in the months following, and I noticed that my period was more watery than than before and there were some weird things in it that I'd never seen before (tmi). I remember that my periods didn't seem as long either (they went from 7 to 4 days). I was so scared that I'd gotten Asherman's syndrome, but apparently I didn't because I'm 26 weeks and everything's fine. I think D&Cs just change things down there.

As far as the lining goes, I worried about that too. I took baby aspirin (starting just after my period would end) and drank raspberry leaf tea. Not sure if they helped but thought it was worth a try.

I still think maca was awesome for balancing hormones and helping ovulation. And it made me happy and energetic. :)

Good luck timing the DNA test with Hammer's schedule. I remember being nervous about screwing up that test too.

Tanner said...

Any updates?