Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Progress Report

I had my first blood draw and ultrasound today. Mr. Hammer and I were both prepared, pen in hand, to write down all the details. In walks a RE I rarely work with. He is very nice but not as detailed as we have been used to. So I have no idea what is going on in there other than that there are 6 follicles on the left side and only 2 on the right. Why righty is so bare at this time is unknown to us especially since she had the larger amount of antral follicles. He kept saying that we can recruit more even though Mr. Hammer kept repeating back that what we see at the first ultrasound is what we get. Then the RE switches to how they were at least all the same size so hopefully they keep growing at the same rate. I hope so too because that was our issue with the microdose lupron cycle.

I know that I do have an issue with one ovary being more dominate than the other. And it changes each cycle, so one time lefty is the good one and the next righty is the good one. I guess it’s lefty’s turn this time. At least all 6 of the antral follicles we saw in her have come out to play. I’m not going to hold my breath that righty will pop out the other five in time to catch up because we couldn’t even see the ‘buds’ of developing follicles and I have a history but you never know, right? I wonder too if righty might not be as healthy as we think because she had the endometrioma spot on her. So I do hope that maybe having lefty hold the majority will be a good sign if it’s the healthier ovary.

What I am going to do is take this lack of details as a sign that I don’t need to worry about those things and just focus on praying for the follicles that I have. It is a bit more peaceful in some ways knowing that no matter what happens we are going forward with the retrieval and that this really is the last cycle. I thought I would be more emotional but I think that will come later depending on the outcome. I really feel like right now I am just taking things as they come and since I can’t change anything or fret over what we’ll do next cycle it’s rolling off my shoulders a bit easier than before.  If this had been any of the earlier cycles I don't think I would have been as calm with Mr. Laid-Back RE but today I'm just not going to get worked up over it.  I have follicles (period).

So my prayer over the next few days is for my eight follicles to be healthy and that all of them are mature of retrieval.

Today at lunch I went down to the fitness center at my office. They have an open area away from the treadmills and weights where there is a TV. I plugged in my yoga podcast and pulled some privacy screens out so that I had my own little make-shift yoga studio. It was so nice and peaceful to do yoga. I meditated on all my follicles growing evenly and my right ovary producing more follicles and I prayed over my current follicles that they would be healthy and praised God that he has already picked out the follicles that will be transferred and with His blessing will be our little one. It was such a nice lunch break; I can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.

I also have been loving the Gonal-F pen! It’s like all these blogs I’ve read with women on Gonal or Follistim have talked about the stims being relatively easy. Well I can tell you that Bravelle is a pain. Each vial has to be mixed separately and it’s such a process because you have to use the drug immediately after mixing so nothing can be done ahead of time. It would take me forever in the morning to administer my meds. Now I just dial, pull, stick and click. I feel like I’ve joined this elite IVF drug club and it’s wonderful. I have no idea if using this drug will be any better but even if it’s not this is SO worth it. And even better, my copay was the same!


kdactyl said...

I loved the Gonal was the wonder drug for me and worked like a charm...the pens are the easy!

8 follies sounds good to me...that was about what I produced and we got a baby out of I am praying for the same for you. good luck this cycle!

Hillary said...

Eight follicles is great - and I will be praying with you that those grow and mature...and that you even get a few more!! Glad you are feeling calm about the cycle and enjoying the wonders of the pen-drugs :)

Tabitha said...

That's exactly how I felt for our final IVF cycle. I think I just finally reached a point of peace, letting go of all the facts and just sitting back to watch God do His thing!! What an amazing place to be....praying for you!

Nicole said...

I am an info fanatic so I'm impressed that your not busting down the REs door for details. Maybe it will be a good way to keep the stress down. You are so strong. I hope,hope, hope this is it for you!!!!!!!! Enjoy your yoga lunch breaks :)