Thursday, December 11, 2008

Fresh Look

Well I'm home sick from work today so I've been playing around with new layouts. I thought this one looked pretty and calming. Let me know what you all think.

I spent the last three days in a clinic with sick kids so I shouldn't be surprised that last night I started to not feel good. I went to bed at 8 pm but woke only to find that I was feeling worse. My throat kills, muscle aches, congestion etc. I had to take the company car back into work because another coworker is taking it out today so I had to go in. I had originally arranged for my supervisor to drop me off at home but I don't want to pass along what I've got since it's in the early stages. So I gave my mom a call at 8 am and wouldn't you know she was passing through downtown at that very moment. So a hitched a ride with her and now I'm on the couch, laptop in tow and puppy passed out on my lap.

I hope this won't throw off my ovulation. The most I'm going to do this month is POAS to make sure we time ovulation but otherwise I'm taking off December. Speaking of which I think it's time to check...

....Ahhh, that's better. Results: No "O." Nope, not today. That might actually be a good thing though, maybe it will let me recover from whatever I've contracted.

Back to the scene of the cold crime:
My trip took me to a WIC clinic where I got to see tons of babies. Somehow I managed to make it through without seeing a prominently pregnant women. All the ones I saw were too early or too chubby (sorry!) to tell they were even expecting. That was some spiritual protection. There were several great families that I got to meet. And it was absolutely precious to watch a dad hold his sleeping daughter so lovingly. One family stood out to me though. This poor women, just 29 years old, was taking care of her younger sister's three kids from age 3 months to 4 years in addition to her own 4 year old daughter. The mother was placed in a drug rehab program so her sister was given temporary custody. The 3 month old showed signs of interuterine drug exposure i.e. not wanting to be held, inconsolable, shaking. The saddest part was that, according to her sister, the mom only ever asked about the oldest child. She would not acknowledge her newborn or second youngest child. In fact the sister has had guardianship of the middle child for the past year because he was being neglected. The middle child was so confused he was calling his Aunt "Mom" and cried every time he saw his real mom because he didn't know who she was. It was so heartbreaking.

I have to admit for a moment I struggled. Who wouldn't seeing the faces of those children. But I forced myself to focus on our path. I turned my thoughts to what our future was; success with IVF or adoption (or maybe both). I tried to think about if we adopted a little baby it might save them from a sad story such as the family I saw. Or maybe we were meant to go through IVF to have twins. I'm so impatient to know what our plan is and maybe that's my problem that I need to work on. Patience.

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