New Look, New Attitude

I'm onto three posts already, can you tell I've been home sick all day? Since my post last week I've been feeling much better emotionally. I feel like I've turned a corner. So to reflect that I've spruced up my blog page: new layout, new format etc. I also have been feeling encouraged by some of my fellow bloggers who have been successful. Yes I am genuinely happy for all of them! I've been praying a lot for direction this past week and have been feeling very positive that IVF may work for us. I just have to have patience to wait until April/May when we'll be able to start.

I'm much more in the Christmas spirit too. My hubby wouldn't let me be Scrooge this year and not put up a tree. So he dragged me with him last weekend to Home Depot to pick out a tree. Five hours later we had fully decorated the tree, house and put the lights up outside. (Uh, actually my hubby put the outdoor lights up in the freezing sleet/snow...but I made him hot cocoa!)

So to confirm my new attitude here is a list of ten things I'm thankful for this year as 2008 is coming to a close:

1. My Heavenly Father and Jesus - who takes me as I am, the good and the bad. Let's me be myself and heals my brokenness. Who has a perfect plan for us on this infertility journey if I'm willing to be patient and trust him.

2. My incredible hubby - who also loves me for who I am. Who has stood by my side, held my hand through each procedure, and kept me laughing during the many hard times. If infertility has done one thing good, it has made us stronger as a couple.

3. My irreplaceable family - my mom who constantly prays for our infertility. My dad who, although struggles with the fact that he cannot fix our infertility problems for his little girl, prays for us everyday.

4. My awesome dog - yes my dog! Because he is that awesome. He gives unconditional doggy love.

5. My confidants - those friends that I've shared this struggle with and who continually pray for us and know that sometimes hugs are better than any words.

6. My new bloggy friends - who've read my ups and downs for the last few months and have been an encouragement to me.

7. My RE - who has worked with us to provide personalized treatments, has not wasted our time with excessive procedures, and has been conservative with fertility drugs.

8. My Ob/Gyn - who found and cleared endometriosis relieving me from years of painful cycles.

9. My job - that pays for parts of infertility treatments such as doctor visits and drugs and a boss that works with my treatment schedules.

10. My husband's job - having both great paying jobs (mine and his) has allowed us to try several IUI's and will allow us to do at least two IVF cycles. And if our plan is for adoption we'll have the financial ability to go down that road as well.

I'm going to post this on my gadget board to help remind me to be positive. I'm also going to start a new motto for 2009: "Expect Miracles."

I know that my last few posts have been less than positive. All I can say is that after 2 1/2 years infertility gets to you and I had a few weeks of sadness. For the most part I've had a pretty positive attitude. I started blogging because I was beginning to be invaded by sadness but I think that the process itself of writing out what I've been feeling has been therapeutic. So thanks for sticking with me, hopefully you have.