We went to our first local RESOLVE meeting last Thursday which was a ‘special’ session where they had a speaker from a local adoption agency. Hammer and I were excited to get an opportunity to hear about adoption without having to pay for an initial consultation at an agency. The speaker was a social worker who specialized in international adoption but she did give information on domestic as well. I had always been open to any type of adoption but have yielded to what Hammer’s feelings were on the subject. Having been a ‘surprise’ son to a his mom and dad who had adopted two other children nine years prior, I feel that he had more insight into the subject. He wants to have a similar situation to how he grew up and said that it was hard enough explaining why his older brother was a towering 6’4” brown eyed red head while he and his parents are short, blue eyed and blond. I really did not care what type of adoption we would do as long as it would make us parents. But after hearing about international adoption, all the fees, paperwork, multiple extended visits, and ridiculous requirements, I was completely turned off. I mean, seriously China, why do you have a BMI requirement and a ‘facial feature’ requirement? What on earth does the way my cheek bones sit have anything to do with being a good parent? While Hammer and I would not be held back by our BMI/facial features it just rubbed me the wrong way that they would base parenting on superficial things. And while I started to think that maybe there was some ancient Chinese belief related to body/facial features it still wasn’t working for me. There will be no Asian babies in my future. We also learned that the international adoption wait time was 4-5 years!!!! And that in total, it would cost us $45,000. Holy Pete!
So it was pretty clear to us that if we had to walk down the adoption road it would be domestic. But that’s the type of information we wanted to hear to be able to make a decision that was right for us. In our state the wait time for domestic is no longer than two years. And the price is much more reasonable, around $20,000. The laws in our state for adoptive parents are really good so the likelihood of ever being a Hallmark Special Movie titled, “Give Me Back My Baby,” is rarely if ever going to happen. There is always the risk of a mom changing her mind but the two big agencies in our area have safeties in place so that you don’t loose out on your money if it falls through. While we still are going to give IVF another try here shortly, it was comforting to know our options.
We also got to meet a few other couples in the same boat as us. One of them was my Bravelle angel who not only gave me her extra vials but her extra syringes as well. We are both in the same place as far as suffering a failed IVF cycle this past month. Although, unlike us, they are blessed to have several snow babies and are gearing up to do a FET here shortly. I’m not jealous; God gave her snow babies so she would have extra meds for me and so God could continue to show us his provision. Seriously, to have to do a second IVF cycle and have Hammer get an unexpected bonus plus have two complete strangers give me a total of 28 vials of Bravelle for $300 is provision!