Sunday, November 9, 2008

Side Note:

Last night my mom told me she had a dream that she took my old room and turned it into a nursery with all my old baby things because she needed it to watch her new grand-baby while I went to work. While I don't believe in signs I do know that one day this dream will come true whether its via my womb or the gift of adoption.

I'm not holding onto false hope with this round of clomid (day 5 - last day of pills!) but if it's our plan for this to be the month I would be more than happy with that outcome. Like I've said before, I feel like God may be leading us to adoption but even my husband does not feel that we would never have a child of our own. It's just that if we were not on this journey, would we even consider adoption? Probably not. And if this is part of that greater plan, then so be it. I committed to following God's plan back when I was only 7 years old and gave my heart to Jesus while spending the summer with my grandparents. I've tried to go my own way before just to find out that I was utterly lost without Him. I know from experience that there is no life apart from Him. And while I have moments where I want to pull away and shout that I don't like this path and want to find my own way to motherhood, I instead find myself back on my knees in front of His throne. Because when it comes down to it, I have no where else to go and there is no other path worth taking.

"You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever."
Psalms 16:11

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