Friday, June 19, 2009

She Just Couldn't Stay Away

So the one thing I was looking forward too with IVF was the strong possibility that AF would not come or her stay would be uneventful and brief. Instead she gave it all she's got. Bummer. But on the bright side this could be the last time I see her for a while... So instead I'll think of it as a goodbye visit. I sure hope that's the last I see of her for quite some time.

On a funny note, Hammer said something over the weekend that cracked me up. We were riding on the ferry back to the upper peninsula just above Mac.kinac city. There were two families with infants who were cooing and giggling at each other. Hammer was observing this scene, turns to me and says, "You know, babies are like dogs, they bark at each other." I busted up laughing and then thought, should I be worried that my husband thinks babies are just dogs with less hair?

Finally, today we had our IVF counseling session. We passed with flying colors. I know it's not a test or a game on how to dupe the social worker. But apparently we are not crazy, having panic attacks, unable to handle the pressure etc. I think we're pretty well balanced and have a good perspective on the whole thing. We aren't do-or-die riding with our whole mental happiness on this cycle and are prepared that this may or may not work. Don't get me wrong, I WANT this to work, I WANT to be pregnant and experience all the joys AND discomforts (seriously). But I still know none of this is in my hands. No matter how well we time things, or the number of drugs we take, or eggs we fertilize, or embryos we implant; God has the last word. He always has and He always will. It will not make it hurt less if it doesn't work but at least I will know that it wasn't something I did or didn't do or that I was being punished (because it doesn't work that way). But it will help me get up, dust my self off and keep moving forward until His plan is fully revealed to us. I just hope that it's sooner than later! After this weekend we will be in the two week count down to egg retrieval. This really does move fast.

Current Meds: Lupron 10 units
Side Effects: intermittent nausea, burning and redness at injection site, moderate agitation, FATIGUE
Days Post Transfer: 0
# Eggs Transferred: 0
# Eggs Frozen: 0


Brittney said...

What a fabulous attitude you have. And you are SO right - it is such a comfort just knowing that God is in control. I hope too that this is a good-bye visit from AF:)You'll be in my prayers!! Have a wonderful weekend.

Hillary said...

Sorry AF came in full force...but you are now that much closer!! I love your perspective and am so excited for you as each day gets closer to the ER/ET!