Thursday, October 29, 2009

Keeping Hope Alive

I'm now taking stock of everything. I've been extremely tired the last few days and very emotional - 1 check for prego. Last night I had more energy - 1 check for no longer prego. And then I stop myself and pray, "Jesus, thank you for even this small piece of hope. Thank you for letting me be pregnant for just one more day. I trust you and your plan for us."

This morning I woke up at 4 am feeling rested - 1 check for no longer prego and then poked my boobies, ouch - 1 check for prego. I decided to POAS to see if maybe just maybe I could see a line and YES, it was there! It came up very obvious - 1 BIG check for prego. I showed Hammer when he got up (actually I woke him up at 5am I couldn't wait any longer). Now I just have to make it a few more hours. At work I'm yawning alot but not overly tired - 1 check for no longer prego. Then I suddenly feel like I'm going to be sick - 1 check for prego. I'm starting to drive myself crazy. I saw a very nice positive HPT this morning, this is ridiculous. Time to pray again.

I will get my blood drawn this afternoon at 4pm - same time as my 1st beta. That way my body will have all the time it need to get those numbers up there and do some doubling.

At least tonight will be a distraction as it's trick or treating in our neighborhood. We have my brother and some friends coming over. Oh please, please, please Lord, if it's your will, let it double!

9 comments:

Jesse and Mandy Peterson said...

You're going to drive yourself crazy over-analyzing those symptoms! I don't blame you, though. I never expected it, but I was immediately overcome with fear of losing my baby when I found out I was pregnant. Then I realized that I needed to trust God through my pregnancy just as I trusted Him through my infertility. He had a reason for whatever happened. And I wanted to celebrate my baby regardless of how long he was alive. It takes a lot of prayer, but is worth it.

By the way, I didn't have any symptoms for the first 10 weeks. So it doesn't mean too much if your symptoms come and go or don't exist. Let us know what your 2nd beta is... :-)

cady said...

I overanalyzed everything after my BFP. It's so hard not to, even though you'll drive yourself crazy. I didn't have a lot of symptoms either in the first trimester, so this really showed me how much I needed to trust God for it. I can't wait to hear what your second beta is!

Tabitha said...

Oh darling, I'm so incredibly happy for you! I understand what you mean about overanalyzing everything, I'd be doing that too. God loves you and is holding you and your little one in His hands and I'm pray that your blessed for loving Him and trusting Him!!

kdactyl said...

I was the same as you....everything was either a sign or not a sign....but guess what? The symptoms come and go constantly and are different from day to day and definitely from woman to woman. I am praying with you that this is all working out and that you just have a little late implanter in there. Lots of hugs to get you through the day. I will be checking tomorrow for the updates.

kd

Brittney said...

I'm praying for you!!! If it makes you feel any better, I didn't have true symptoms until about a week ago:)

Can't wait for your next post!

Astrid said...

Ohmigosh! I missed checking in for a few days and look what happened!! I'm so excited about the good news and hope it just keeps getting better! It's normal to overthink everything, we all do it. Hopefully reminding yourself of that in itself will give you some peace. I'll be thinking about you.

Meant to be a mom said...

Prayers. My mom and I both follow your blog and are praying for you sooo much. She called me today when I got off work and said loudly and so happily, "OH MY GOSH, MRS. HAMMER!!!!!" I was like "I KNOW"!! We are both praying for you guys.

Hillary said...

Those early days after a BFP must be so torturous. Praying for you and your little one, hang in there!

makingmemom.blogspot.com

eyeheartinternet said...

You made me laugh so hard!!!! Overanalyzing, yes, but I think with what we have to go through to get prego, it's would be impossible not to. (;